Non-Bucket List

A recent discussion with some friends had me thinking about my "Bucket list" and things that I want to do before the end. Now, I've not been one to really have a bucket list. I've always just taken opportunities as they've come up, and never really planned to go out and do things. I've crossed a lot of things off of my bucket list without even really knowing they were on there to begin with. One of these days, I really should make a list though.
Anyways, my contribution to the conversation wasn't about things I want to do, but rather things I never want to do. My Non-Bucket list, I guess you would call it. So, for a first draft, I give you my Non-Bucket list... Things I would never want to do...

1) I never ever want the opportunity to use those inflatable escape ramps on a plane. If I was ever on a plane and HAD to use them, by goodness I would. But, I don't ever really want to be in that position.

2) Bungee jumping. There is something seriously wrong about this. First, you are jumping off a bridge. The old adage, "if everyone jumped off a bridge, would you just follow?" Answer... NOPE! And you are jumping over water (like that is safer than jumping over concrete!), and hanging upside down while doing so. Sorry, just doesn't work for me. There is even naked bungee jumping. Like that makes it better.

3) Skydiving. Up there with Bungee jumping. They say it's better than sex. Well, if jumping out of a plane is better than sex, than I say they aren't doing the sex thing correctly. It's not my fear of heights that will stop me. It's my lack of insanity.

4) Running a marathon. This seems to be on everyone's bucket list these days. I know... the whole getting in shape thing, and being able to prove to yourself that you can do it... I get it. I just don't ever want to do that. First, the crowds would be enough to stop me (I don't like crowds). Second, I'm getting old and can't run more than 10 minutes without having to pee. And I don't see a lot of port-a-potties on many marathon routes.

5) Climb Mt. Everest. Or any large mountain for that matter. I don't want to climb anything if there isn't a restaurant / bar / hotel / spa waiting for me at the top. It's not the actual climbing or physical exercise I'm afraid of. It's the "being too far away from emergency services" that I'm worried about. And the fact that you have to carry more than 2 days worth of food on your own back. What kind of vacation is that?